The man who can't be moved

  The one whose walk is blameless, 
   who does what is righteous, 
   who speaks the truth from their heart; 
 whose tongue utters no slander, 
   who does no wrong to a neighbor, 
   and casts no slur on others; 
 who despises a vile person 
   but honors those who fear the LORD; 
who keeps an oath even when it hurts, 
   and does not change their mind; 
 who lends money to the poor without interest; 
   who does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
   Whoever does these things 
   will never be shaken.


-Psalms 15:2-5




I guess that passage spoke for itself.

Blue Skies

When I was in Cebu, I noticed something really cool -- the sky is bluer (is there such a word?) there. Same country, same sky, and yet clouds were abundant there, and the sky was really blue. REALLY blue. Not the grayish kind.

And so I remembered you. You know when I met you, my skies became bluer; this is because you yourself have beautiful blue skies.

And just like that slowly but surely, in your own little ways.. I forget my grayish sky. And I bask in your sunshine.

It's the blue skies

Your blue skies that I love

It's where I want to stay

The sky is bright and blue

When I'm with you

The Call

Interviews are hard for me. I think it's all those questions, and the scrutiny. I hate being examined or measured. So I detested the Test, or so I thought.

As you know, I've gone through the first interview and practical exam (two weeks ago? or maybe three), without confidence really in my performance. And now that I've gone on to "level two", I kind of feel like I might actually have a chance at this.

Anyway, my day started much like any other day, except I woke up at 6AM and I can't get back to sleep even if I tried. I was too excited. So there I was at 6:30, eating breakfast while reading the Bible (can't shake that habit off). And was out at around 7:30 (I really tried slowing down, for real. I looked at myself maybe around ten times in the mirror and then picked another shirt to wear, and then looked at myself for ten more times).

As I was "slowing down", I get a text from (ahem) my sweetest friend. And I remembered that friend as I sat in the car, as I got off, and as I answered the Test (written, thank You). I remember him.

After the Test, I texted, as promised. Thirty minutes later, he called, as promised.

Of all the things we said on the phone after talking for like twenty to thirty minutes, when we hung up, I remember just one thing till now: You called.

It's the little things, these little things that matter. The little things that you do, the little things that you say or don't say -- they matter a LOT to me. And I thank you, from the deepest part of my heart, for making me feel that you got my back, for supporting me, and for just really... caring. Thank you, thank you very much.

If I could spend one day with anyone in this world (including my hollywood crushes), you know I'd spend it with you. Hey you owe me a favor right? *hint hint

Anyway, you know I love being with you (fifteen minutes in the mall is proof).

SO.. I look forward to seeing you on Saturday.

Have a great Friday! :)

So in Love with You

Like the fire
My heart burns with desire

To know you and
Love you more


With all my heart and soul
I seek Your face
With all I am
I long for your embrace

Captivated by Your love
Caught in the arms of my Savior
I lift my heart and hands to You
By Your grace, I know you more and more
Jesus I'm so in love with You


Like the grass
I grow more in love
By the rain of your love
In my life

Deep Throaty Voice

Like the storm
outside my window,
My heart is.
Sleep is far from me
So I prayed


Lord
Calm my fears
An answered pray'r
that's what it is


A sound so dear
A voice that's clear
It's the sound that
I so want to hear
It's your deep throaty voice
that's saying in my ear
"Calm down my dear,
My voice is here"

Sing me to sleep,

Sing me to sleep

Day and Night

I wake up

Open my eyes and stretch my arms

I'm alive again

Thank you Lord

For your grace

I put my trust in You

Let all that love you,

Praise Your name

Bless the Lord, oh my soul,

For He is holy

Your grace and mercy have found me

Oh God You are worthy

I will worship You,

I will worship You, O God,

Day and night

I am weak, Oh Lord

I find strength in You

Everyday

Friends came and went

People hurt my heart

Some stayed, a lot have gone

I go back to start

Through all that has happened

Happy or painful

Oh my Lord,

You were there.

When the storm in my heart

Has gone out of control,

You calmed the raging seas

And held me in your arms and said,

"My child, be still,

Hold my hand and lean on Me

My strength will be with you,

No one can take you away from Me.
Lay it all down on my feet.

I'm here with you,

I'll never let you go."

Day 1: Nothing is More Important than Relationships

From the book "The Relationship Principles of Jesus" by Tom Holladay:

Relationships are painful. Relationships are wonderful. We all live in the drama that plays out between these two truths.

 The book then went on to speak of the relationship of married couple Neal and Robin, which takes a turn that tore their world apart. Robin suffered a brain hemorrhage, and surgery might not be able to make her better.

"Neal's immediate response was simple faith and sacrificial love. He believed that God had a plan even in this dire circumstance, and Neal was committed to love Robin, no matter what it would take."

To cut the story short, Neal nursed Robin: he nurtured her, spoke to her with love, and little by little, he just loved her to unexpected restoration. Robin began to speak haltingly and was able to use her hands and arms again.

The greatest miracle, they say, isn't in the healing (they've seen bodies healed before) but in the love.

The book goes on to say that Jesus, "came to show us how to enjoy a new way of  relating to God and others." "He came to begin a new relationship with you -- a relationship that will strengthen all your relationships" How beautiful and wonderful is that truth?

Jesus teaches us to prioritize relationships. When a teacher of the law asked him the question, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"

"The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.”

Jesus' clear answer to this question has the power to take our breath away. By choosing these two commands as the most important of all the Old Testament commands, Jesus tells us how deeply he values relationships. He values our relationship with God, and he values our relationships with each other.

And indeed, how can we live in this world without the Lord and without each other? To be able to commune with God and with people is the best thing that a person can ever experience.

From beginning to end, nothing is more important than relationships. In the beginning, God created you for relationships. He made you to relate to him and to others. Miss out on relationships, and you're missing the core reason for which God put you on this planet.

Truthfully, there are times that we avoid establishing relationships with people for various reasons: to avoid getting hurt, some don't know how to relate, some are happy with just playing by themselves, or some are just plain lazy to establish a connection with people.

I very much agree with Tom Holladay when he says this:

A life without relationships may well be a simpler life, but it is also an empty life. The path to the greatest life possible and the greatest joy possible is found in the priority that Jesus taught us to keep at the top of the list: Place the highest value on relationships. 

As I read on through this book for the next 40 days (or maybe even more), it's my prayer that we make our relationship with the Lord and among ourselves, our highest priority.

May God bless us all!

'Till I see You

Through the pain

Through the hurts

Even when the world is dark

And people left their mark

Help me, Lord,

To rejoice in You

That all the world may see

The beauty of Christ in me

I am nothing on my own

Jesus, make me whole

Use my life,

My shame, my weakness

Use my everything for Your greatness

Make my heart like Yours

Hold my hand,

Guide my feet,

Direct my eyes,

Till I see you, Lord.

You Alone are God

G        C                          D

Overwhelmed by Your grace

G        C               D

I stand in Your presence

G        C                   D

Confidence found in You

Em          C   D

My past all erased

Em                 C   D    G-D/F#

You alone are beautiful

Em     C           D

You alone are God

G     C

You saved me,

D                             G    D/F#   Em

Gave me hope and gave me love

C

When everything was lost,

D

You found me

G          C

In my words and deeds,

D       G       D/F#   Em

May I forever praise You

C                            D

For you alone are worthy

Em        C         D 

You alone are God

Mother's Day

Dear Mom,

How are you? Today's the day we call "Mother's Day". Remember our last Mother's Day together? I honestly can't, sorry. It has been a long time since you've been gone, I've forgotten quite a lot of things about you, about us. But I sure can remember a lot of other things. 

I remember the small details, like how you walk. How you laugh with your eyes squinted, mouth wide open, not even caring to cover it with your hand. I remember your hair, how you curled it, how you looked at yourself in the mirror before going out. I remember how you powdered your nose first, then your whole face (btw, I copy that now). I remember the feel of your skin when we hug, the smell of your favorite "night gown". 

I can also remember your last month here on earth, how we spent your last remaining days together. Remember the time when our electricity was cut off? You were sweating then, it was hot. I fanned you for 1 hour till you fell asleep. 

Remember the night whens your legs were so swollen? Your feet were hurting, your back was sore from sitting down all day because you can't walk already. They said you had "water" all over your legs, that's why they were swollen. So the doctors advised us to massage your legs daily. After massaging, we wrap your legs tightly with bandages. It's to prevent further swelling, they said. We bought a cool massaging oil, and took turns massaging you. I had my fair share of that. 

I remember the time I stayed home for you. I was massaging you then, and we were talking about I-can't-remember-what. When you requested me to stay home on a Friday, and not go to school. I didn't hesitate. I stayed  home. We spent the whole Friday together. And the whole weekend. Little did I know, it was our last. It was a great weekend, though. We cooked up a cool homemade vegetarian pizza, and your favorite sinigang sa miso soup. We had fun.

On Sunday night, you had a heart attack, and we rushed you to the hospital. I've never seen Dad drive that fast. Horn honking, panicked eyes, heart racing, and all that. Just like in a movie, I should say. But you? You were calm, calm as you could be. You even told Dad to slow down a bit. (Haha) 

We reached the hospital, I was the only one among my sisters who was there with you. Dad asked them to stay home, maybe because there was school the next day. You were placed in the ER. You can't breathe properly, so you were asking the doctors to put you to sleep. They didn't at first. They placed something in your nostrils, but you took it off, saying it doesn't work. You still can't breathe. 

They put you to sleep then. Placed a tube in your mouth down to your lungs, a "Respirator" they called it, it's to help you breathe. I see you sleeping, with that tube in your mouth, your chest moving up and down, and a breathing sound from the machine. I get out of that room, and cry. 

A nurse calls for me, saying you were looking for me. I stand by your side, and you look at me with teary eyes. You reach for the tube in your mouth, attempting to pull it out. I hold your hand and tell you, Don't, it's to help you breathe. You do this twice, and I take your hand away twice as well. Then you just closed your eyes, tears fell. I figured it must have hurt.

I held your hand then, and I felt your hand hold mine even tighter. I leaned towards you, and whispered, "It's going to be okay, Ma, it's going to be okay." I told you things like, after this, we will all go home and be together. That after you get a dialysis, you were going to get better. That after you feel better, we'll all go home, because I knew how much you hated the hospital. 

I tried holding all my tears back, and tried to settle my shaky voice. But I think you knew how hard that was for me. Telling you these things, when everything inside your body was clearly falling apart.

At that night, while you lay there, holding my hand, I realized how much I was afraid of losing you. How I wasn't ready to let you go. How I prayed that everything would be back to how it was before. That we could somehow play badminton together again, run and swim wherever we please. Go to church, pray and read the Bible together. I imagined life without you, and realized I couldn't stop myself from crying. So I leave you for a while, and cry outside. 

I somehow believed you were going to get better, and we'd get to go home soon. But the next morning, God took you home, to HIS home. I stood beside your hospital bed that morning, with Dad and my sisters. You looked alive, and just lying there, sleeping. The most peaceful sleep you've had since you got sick, I should say. I even imagined that you'd suddenly wake up, and tell us you were just kidding.

Anyway, you probably know all this already. This letter is somehow for me, to help ME remember YOU. There are times I fear I'll forget you, that I'll have nothing to tell my kids someday about their grandmother. Writing to you, and thinking about you, helps me remember you, and US, how we were before. 

I'm not proud of who I became after you left us. There were times before that I even blamed my mistakes on your absence. That I wouldn't have done what I've done if you were there with me. But I know better now.

I really did miss you a lot today. I was even envious of the other kids who had someone to greet "Happy Mother's Day!" to. But you know what? The Lord works in amazing ways. He provided a couple of moms in church for us to treat as our own. 

The Lord has also made me realize through the story of Ruth, that I could someday have a mother-in-law whom I could love and take care of as my own mom. (So please give me a nice Naomi as a mother-in-law, Lord. :p )

I'll be with you someday, Ma. But before that day comes, I will walk with our Lord in this earth, and press on towards our goal which is our Lord Jesus Christ. And may I never go astray again from the path He has laid out before me.

Happy Mother's Day, Ma!

******

P.S. 

This painting's for you. Remember how you said you wanted me to paint your face? And I'd always decline, with the statement, "Wait till I'm good enough, Ma, I'm not that good yet to paint you." Guess what? I'm still not. I practiced sketching you a couple of times, tho, but anyway, here you are. 

I'm sure we held hands like this before. Someday, I'd get to hold someone like this as well. That's something I look forward to very, very much. But of course, that won't be till later. 

MUCH, MUCH later. 

Child of Owner

Going to the office everyday is very tiring, stressful, and for some, boring.

I've been going to the office almost everyday since I graduated. It's my dad's office. Our family is in the magazine business, so being a graduate of Advertising, I naturally fit in the role of C.O.O. -- Child of Owner.

Everything's going okay. I just make sure the magazines get printed on time. So I ask the graphic artists the same questions everyday: "What have you finished?", "How is the magazine doing?", "How many articles are lacking?"  And sometimes, I even give out orders: "Change this color to that," or "This layout needs rearranging."

And for that, I get paid. (Thanks, Dad)

Anyway, in the office, I realized that the employees see me in one way, and in one way only: I'm the boss's daughter.

Being the boss' daughter, what I say goes. See, I represent the boss. What I do, how I act, what I say, reflect only one thing: my dad.

My dad comes in the office late -- 10AM, the earliest. I do,too. He comes in, sits in front of his laptop, opens Facebook. Yes, I do that as well (though I open my YM first before Facebook). He occasionally asks the marketers to do something. Check! He gives orders. Check! He has an extended lunch break. Check! He sleeps for 15 to 30 minutes two hours after lunch. Check! He writes articles for the magazines. Check! He leaves earlier than usual. Check!!

Almost everything he does that I can do, I do. And the employees are aware of that fact. They don't question what I do, because they know I am the boss's daughter, and my authority comes from the boss himself.

I wondered then, aren't we the sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father?

As Christians, shouldn't we then imitate our God? Aren't we His employees, assigned to do His work here on earth? Aren't we his children, assigned to mirror His glory to others? I realized then that I am the child of another Owner. The One who owns everything, the One who owns me. My Owner.

Being His children, we Christians have roles to fulfill. We are the Lord's employees and children. We are the His C.O.O.'s.

Let's ask ourselves then, Are we doing our job? If we are, are we doing it right?

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" 2 Cor.3:18

Here in My Life

I have never walked on water
felt the waves beneath my feet
but at Your word Lord i'll receive Your faith to walk on oceans deep

and i remember how You found me
in that very same place
all my failing surely would have drowned me.. but You made a way

You are my freedom
Jesus You're the reason
I'm kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life

You have said that all the heavens sing for joy at one who finds that way to freedom 
of Jesus bought from death into his’ life

And I remember how You saw me through the eyes of Your grace
And all the cost was Your beloved for me still You made a way

Dear Lord, 

I remember how You found me, and I remember how I should have drowned in my sins. But Lord, You are so good, You made a way. YOU are my freedom. 

Yes, YOU are my only reason why I worship you, why I love You. You, Oh Lord, are my sole

desire for living, my sole purpose. 

Indeed, where would I be without You in my life? Where would I be.. 

I thank You Lord for seeing me, for being mindful of me, even when I wasn't mindful of you. 

I do NOT deserve you, and yet you give me Your grace. You never fail to amaze me, Lord. 

May everyone see You and be amazed as I am amazed. May they glorify You and worship You. 

You who created all things. 

You who are grieved when You see your people in pain.

You who love us.

You who are just. 

You who are the unfathomable, immeasurable, and wonderful, beautiful God.

Oh Lord, help me love You more and more. I want to love you and learn about you more and more each day. 

I thank You Lord, for allowing me to be here, to live and be happy. I thank You for all that You have blessed me with.. the countless blessings You've showered on me. 

Bless me more Lord, and may You help me use all these things to glorify You. 

In Jesus' name,

Amen. 

Blessed is he

Psalm 1

 1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

 3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

I heard a sermon about this passage maybe a few months ago. I forgot where I heard it though, or who the speaker was. Could have come from a video, I don't know. But I remember what I've learned.


There are three kinds of people mentioned in verse 1: the ungodly, the sinners, and the scornful. And the verse says, "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly..." In where? In the counsel of the ungodly. Yes, they have counsel, they have advices, they have opinions and ideas. This is where I stopped and thought, "How many times have I sought my friends' counsels?"

To a dear friend

I've known your face and your name for a few years, but have only really KNOWN you for a few weeks. For a friend to be so dear and so close to my heart in that small amount of time. I just know that you are one of the good things the Lord has blessed my life with.

To that dear friend, I just want to express how much I want to know you more, and how much I want the both of us to draw near to God together. I've never had a friend like you, so you don't really know how much I treasure this friendship.

Cheers, my friend. Let us rejoice in the Lord for allowing us to meet and share our lives with each other.


May our friendship be a light to ourselves, and for everyone else, that all may see the glory of our Lord.

Hope you had a great day!

Life is a Race

The statement, "Life is a Race" is often misunderstood by a lot of people. I first interpreted it as a literal "race", wherein I should finish first, get medals, do wonderful things -- something like that. Lately though, I've found a different meaning in life, and a different meaning to this "race" that we're all in.

Yesterday, I was jogging in our subdivision. I'm no athlete, I admit. I tire fast and sweat a little. I feel my heart beat faster. I don't wear the right jogging attire (is there even such a thing?). Anyway, again, I'm really no athlete. 

I jog leisurely. With my earphones stuck to my ears, and my glasses tucked in my jacket's pocket, I pay no mind to whatever I encounter. I pass by a little boy, imitating my stance, I guess he was mocking me. I paid no attention, though. I continued on. I pass by two boys on a bike. One of them said something to me, I think. I continue on, very much convinced I should finish my 15-minute run.